Monday, January 31, 2011

"The Crown Without the Conflict"

The last two weeks have been hard.

I still remember the sound in my sisters voice when she called me in complete panic to pray for Luke that Tuesday afternoon.

I can still hear the helicopter flying into Phoenix Children's and thinking what a tender mercy it is that we live on the other side of the valley so that I could be there when Luke arrived while everyone else was coming as fast as they could through painful traffic from Mesa.

I replay in my mind the first time I walked in the PICU to see Sara and Doug and holding Sara in my arms as we sobbed and sobbed together for what seemed like an eternity.

I still feel the numbness that I felt when I found out that Luke wasn't going to be with us any longer.

My heart breaks everytime I see Sara laying next to Luke in that hospital bed with the look of utter despair in her face.

I will forever remember the time when all that could were able to be there together as family as we spent our last few hours with Luke.

Although these as well as other painful memories will always be with me, the power and peace of the Spirit in these moments of grief has been one hundred fold.

I will always remember the feeling of serenity in Luke's hospital room the hours before he passed. It was almost as though Luke's loving arms were surrounding all of us during this excrutiating time.

I will always remember the engulfing love of the Savior that we were able to feel during the services that Saturday.

I will always remember the flowers, cards, kind words, meals, bake sales, etc. from family, friends, and strangers alike.

The tender mercies that I have witnessed in the last two weeks has changed my life for the better.

It is truly amazing that one little life can have such a profound impact on so many individuals at once. Luke was such a special spirit that has touched my life in a way that no other could. I can only imagine what the Lord has in store for him in the heavens. What a blessing he has been in my life.

But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.
Mosiah 16:8

At the service on Saturday, Sara and Doug's other three boys Tanner, Jake and Mikey were each given a white balloon that they would be able to release into the sky to reach Luke up in heaven. Smiles spread on many faces, even Sara and Doug, as we watched these brothers share their love with Luke.

Doug helped the boys while Sara sat in the background watching her three little guys.

We sure do love you Luke.

Thank you for your prayers. I can assure you that every prayer has been felt and has helped uplift many grieving souls.


Lindsey Bench said...

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing Kels.

Erin said...

Kels. That is a beautiful post. I will pass on Jonathan's compliment that he gave to me because "thou art gifted with the pen" as well. So glad you are here with us. Love you.